Fierce, But Not Angry: Assertiveness For Everyone
Assertiveness Helps You Succeed. But May Not Come Naturally.
In today’s fast-paced world, being able to express yourself confidently and respectfully is a valuable skill we call ‘assertiveness’. It helps you succeed in various aspects of life, at school, work, or your personal relationships. In this article and our free webinar, we’ll explore why assertiveness is important and provide practical tips to help you become more assertive.
“Being assertive doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Especially in the UK where we have a tendency to try to be polite or avoid conflict and confrontation,” says David Maltman at Future Proof Learning. “That being said, I’ve also found that when we can be assertive, that feeling is somewhat addictive and we’re often left thinking ‘Why didn’t I do this sooner?!’.
“Assertiveness is often thought of as being a bad thing or being aggressive. It’s not about dominating people or conversations, talking over others, speaking down to people or being confrontational; more than anything, it’s about standing up for yourself and believing in yourself, and that can sometimes be hard for us to do.”
Learning assertiveness is a crucial skill that can lead to personal and professional growth. Being assertive allows you to share your ideas, participate in decision-making, and negotiate effectively. It helps you set boundaries, earn respect from others, and build healthier relationships.
When it comes to working with people, prevention is better than cure and there’s always some action required. So, standing up to someone or confronting them politely can be an act of kindness and can make our relationships stronger.
Assertiveness lets you express your needs, communicate clearly, and handle conflicts in a positive way. It boosts your self-confidence, reduces stress, and improves your overall well-being.
“Something else that I’ve found people struggle with is setting appropriate boundaries with others when it comes to their time. Several of my executive coaching clients have found themselves overwhelmed by their schedule because it’s full of meetings that others have added to their diary which they feel they can’t refuse. This can be a difficult issue to unpick.
“My advice is to start carving out time in the diary where you can’t be interrupted and ask colleagues nicely to respect your schedule. You can create boundaries around your time with ‘clinic hours’ or ‘open sessions’ where you are contactable, which is a softer approach.”
Join our free webinar, ‘Fierce, but Not Angry: Assertiveness for Everyone’, on Tuesday 20th June (10 – 11 am) to find out how you can become more assertive.
Tips to Enhance Your Assertiveness
Here are some practical tips to enhance your assertiveness:
Get to Know Yourself: Start by understanding your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. Take time to think about your values, strengths, and areas where you can improve. Pay attention to how you communicate through body language, tone of voice, and your style of speaking. Knowing yourself better will help you become more assertive.
Communicate Effectively: Assertiveness relies on clear and concise communication. Speak confidently, expressing your thoughts and opinions while also listening to others. Use phrases like “I feel” or “I believe” to express yourself. Be direct, honest, and respectful in your conversations, avoiding aggressive or passive language.
Establish Boundaries: Setting healthy boundaries is important. Clearly define what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. It’s okay to say “no” when necessary without feeling guilty. Practice saying “no” politely and suggest alternatives or compromises when declining requests or invitations.
Resolve Conflicts Constructively: Conflicts are a normal part of life, but assertiveness can help you handle them in a positive way. Approach conflicts with a problem-solving mindset and actively listen to other people’s perspectives. Express your concerns assertively, focusing on the issue at hand rather than attacking individuals. Try to find solutions that benefit everyone involved.
Use Positive Self-Talk: Developing a positive mindset is crucial for assertiveness. Replace self-doubt and negative thoughts with empowering and positive statements. Recognize your accomplishments and strengths, which will boost your self-confidence. Visualize successful assertive interactions to reinforce positive beliefs.
Assertiveness empowers you to take control of your life and find success and happiness in various areas. By understanding yourself, communicating effectively, setting boundaries, resolving conflicts constructively, and maintaining a positive mindset, you can unlock the power of assertiveness and navigate life with confidence.
Join our free webinar, ‘Fierce, but Not Angry: Assertiveness for Everyone’, on Tuesday 20th June (10 – 11 am) to find out how you can become more assertive, start standing up for yourself and setting appropriate boundaries at work and at home.